How to Defeat a Kraken

A guest post from author Christine Calhoun

 

Step one: Learn pirate kung fu. Your high acrobatics checks in aquatic settings will help you dodge the splinters of your ship as it crumbles into the ocean.

 

Step two: Harpoons. Lots of harpoons.

 

Step three: Purchase a Necronomicon at your local used bookstore. Used book stores are easy on your wallet and also help the local economy. And don’t worry about not finding a copy. It is a pretty common title and shows up in garage sales and abandoned cabins in the woods on the regular.

 

Step four: use sad Necronomicon to raise the dead, dead krakens to be exact. Your live cracken will suddenly have a zombie issue on its um…tentacles. It will have no time to worry with a puny human such as yourself.

 

Step five: Fashion yourself a life raft from the broken debris of your ship.

 

Step six: If you don’t know how to swim yet now would be a perfect time to learn. You are officially stranded at sea.

16144381_10154278805022686_2119009430_nChristine Calhoun lives amidst the trees and farmlands of Northern Indiana. She grew up imagining creatures hiding in the woods and still does. Every year she throws a massive masquerade for her friends. Also, she writes books. You can connect with Christine on her website, https://christinecalhoun.com/ or on Twitter at https://twitter.com/CAnneCalhoun.

16196661_10154278805127686_868279863_oYou can buy her latest novel, The Trees Between Here.

 

The Trees Between follows a grieving mother, a trio of kids, a party of drunk teenagers, and a couple of lonely young women as they deal with the power and sometimes depravity of the other worlders. Not to miss if dark contemporary fantasy is your game.
Featured image is Pierre Denys de Montfort’s “Poulpe Colossal attacks a merchant ship”